Juliet

Last Tuesday, I was 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Once again I felt like a whale, but in comparing pictures of me then vs. when I was 38 weeks with the twins, I literally think I was about half the size this time around. That morning I woke up, disappointed that I was still pregnant. Like so many of the nights before, I'd woken up in the middle of the night with a few strong and steady contractions, only to fall back asleep and wake up contraction-free. I had an appointment with my midwife that day, where the plan was to sweep my membranes and hopefully bring on labor.

I didn't think I'd be in any hurry. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was ready to have the baby stay inside of me as long as possible. Because every day the baby was inside of me meant that Charlie and Caroline would be one day older. And hopefully one day easier to care for. But then 38 and 39 weeks rolled along and I was beyond ready to not be a whale anymore. I longed to be able to roll around on the floor and rough house with my kids like I used to. And I desperately wanted to meet my baby. To know if the little tenant in my tummy was a boy or a girl, and to know whether he or she would be another white haired beauty or not.

And then there was this military training. A few days before, Forrest and I found out that he had a required military training at Camp Williams on March 6, 7 and 8. He would be gone day and night for those three days. And I was due March 9. I was absolutely terrified that I would go into labor while he was away and out of reach. So Forrest and I talked about it and decided that we would talk to my midwife about breaking my water early in the week, before his training so that there would be no chance of him missing the birth of our sweet little one.

So back to Tuesday. I woke up that morning and got myself and the twins ready for the day. Forrest went off to work. I drove to Salt Lake and dropped the kids off at a friend's house, then went in to my appointment. The midwife came in and swept my membranes (it hurt - I didn't expect it to hurt), then we began discussing my concerns and our options. She called over to the hospital and found an opening for me to go in for an induction the next day, Wednesday, March 4.

I didn't want to be induced. I had been having a fair amount of contractions and was reasonably dilated already, so breaking my water wasn't a big deal, but I still didn't want to have to be induced. I had decided I wanted a natural, un-medicated birth, and I hear inductions usually make that a little more difficult. But given the time constraints and my overwhelming desire to have Forrest present at the birth, I nervously agreed to be scheduled for Wednesday morning.

It's a strange thing, knowing what day your baby will arrive. Knowing that that day was our last as a little family of four. Knowing that my next few hours with the twins before I put them down to sleep would be my last with them as my only children. After I picked them up from my friend's house, I didn't just want to go home. I wanted to make some memories and have fun with my sweet Charlie and Caroline. So we went to a mall and walked around for a while and got a Jamba Juice.

Forrest met us at home where we bundled the kids up in their snowsuits for the first (and probably only) time this winter and went outside to play in the snow. They thought it was wonderful and so did I. Then we went and picked up some dinner, ate at home together, gave the twins a bath and kissed them goodnight. With my pregnancy hormones at their peak I cried and cried, knowing that the next day they wouldn't be my little babies anymore. Of course they will always be my babies, but I hate knowing how fast they will have to grow up now.

You know when you have something important the next day and you know you need to sleep, but you just can't? That was one of those nights. Forrest and I talked, watched TV, added some last minute things to our hospital bags, and went to bed well after midnight. And we were to check-in at the hospital at 9 AM. The next morning my mother-in-law came over to take care of the twins and we drove to the hospital.

Checked in at 9:30. Water broken at noon. Contractions started almost immediately. Then slowed. We walked, and walked, and walked. My mom came. Then my dad came. And my mother-in-law came. Forrest was there, and my nurse was there, and my midwife was there. I spent hours walking the halls with Forrest, pausing every 2-3 minutes to breathe through a contraction. I spent hours on a birthing ball, rolling my hips in a figure 8. All the while I was feeling pretty strong. I was hungry, yes, and tired, yes, but I was able to talk and laugh and join in conversations. And at every check, it was apparent that I was progressing pretty slowly. Finally around 8 PM, we decided to start some Pitocin to help increase the frequency of the contractions. After that, I wasn't much for conversation. I vaguely remember what was going on around me, but all I could do was breath and groan from the pain of the contractions and try to remember the end product.

My midwife was amazing. She was perfect and even though I hated it at the time, she knew exactly what to do to help me get closer to delivering. Sometime around 10 PM, she had me kneel up on the bed. It was completely agonizing and after only a few contractions of that, I remember yelling out that I needed to push. After some changing of position and a little confusion (at least it was confusing to me - the pain made everything so hazy), she checked me and told me I could start pushing. The time was finally here. It was nearly 10:30 PM and I had been in labor for over 10 hours.

And I thought the pain of the contractions was bad. Pushing was completely unbearable. I can't even describe the pain. It was like every fiber of my body was on fire. And I honestly and truly felt like I wanted to die. I remember telling Forrest that and he just smiled and said "no, you don't." And then suddenly, after 6 minutes, the pain was completely gone and there was a perfect little dark haired miracle laying on my chest. Forrest took a look and called out "It's a girl!" and we were all thrilled. We knew right away we would call her Juliet. Juliet Rose. She is the most perfect thing I've ever seen, just like her brother and sister.

Her birth was without a doubt the most difficult thing I've ever done. I have gained a whole new level of respect for anyone who has ever gone through that. I don't know if I will do it again, but it was a beautiful experience and I'm so glad to have gone through it.

Now that she's here, life is a whole new level of crazy. Today I sat in a chair nursing baby J. I was holding her with one arm, using that elbow to shield her head from the toys Charlie kept bring to put in my lap, and holding Caroline on my lap to read her a story with my other arm. The twins love her so much, but they are still learning how to control their impulses. They constantly want to touch her nose and poke her eyes and kiss her head. Caroline is obsessed with sharing things with Juliet - particularly her food. I can't put her anywhere close to the ground when the twinados are awake, but it is a wonderful kind of crazy and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

As for me, I feel fantastic. The recovery from a natural child birth has been a breeze compared to recovering after the twins. I am looking forward to being able to run again, hopefully soon. And life is good. So, so good.

Special Delivery!

Most twins are delivered between 34 and 36 weeks. Not mine. We were among the rare few that make it full term. At the time I thought it was awful. I was so ready to be done with the discomfort, and so ready and excited to meet my little miracles! I was scheduled to be induced the day I turned 38 weeks. It was a beautiful Saturday morning in sunny California. My parents had arrived late Friday night, so we didn't get much sleep the night before. Not that anyone could sleep well the night before having two babies anyway!

We woke up, ate a light breakfast, loaded the car seats and bags into our van and drove the hour north to the hospital. I got settled and they started me on pitocin. Within 30 minutes the anesthesiologist was there to give me my epidural. (I think I would have opted for one anyway, but since the chance of an emergency C-section with twins is so high, they very highly recommend getting one.) I was dreading the epidural, but it really wasn't bad. The IV in my arm hurt worse. We sat in the labor/delivery room, playing Bejeweled Blitz and Monster Run on the iPad, and I even read a little Harry Potter while we waited for me to progress. My parents came and visited for a few minutes before going to get some dinner and watch a movie while they waited. Around 6 PM I started progressing more quickly, so the nurse suggested that Forrest go get some dinner before it was go time. When he left at 6 I was dilated to a 6. A few minutes after he left, I started vomiting, so the nurse came and checked me. It was 6:10 and I was suddenly dilated to a 10. So I hurried and called Forrest and frantically told him to come back! I called my parents and told them it was time, so they ditched their dinner and rushed back to the hospital too. While I was calling family, my nurse called my doctor.

Forrest got back right in time. As soon as he arrived, they rushed me into the OR. (Even though the plan was to deliver vaginally, they always deliver twins in the OR just in case they need to do an emergency C-section.) This is where it got a bit crazy. My doctor met us in the hall, and she was accompanied by two other doctors. Once we got settled into the room, the anesthesiologist stepped in (just in case we needed him). My nurse was by my left side, and Forrest was by my right. Then there were two nurses ready to take each baby. As soon as they got my bed in place, one of the doctors started an ultrasound to monitor the babies as they were delivered. The anesthesiologist stood above my head observing the chaos. After pushing through a few contractions, it was suddenly shift change for the nurses. At that point, I think there were 16 people in the room. Like I said, it was a bit crazy. During the shift change, Charlie was born. He was head down, right in place so he was delivered without too much effort. Plus he was tiny, only 5 lbs 10 oz. Caroline had been transverse above Charlie (meaning she was sideways, not head up or head down), so the hope was that she would turn head down and be able to be delivered normally as well. Unfortunately, as the doctor saw on the ultrasound, she put her feel right down and turned breech. So instead of having me try and push her out, one of the doctors reached up, grabbed her feet, and pulled her out. There were a few scary moments when he was trying to maneuver her shoulders out. Six minutes after Charlie was born, Caroline came out purple, not breathing and with the cord wrapped tightly around her neck. I couldn't see her, but the doctor looked at me and told me she would need to be rushed to the NICU because she had undergone so much trauma during the delivery. My heart was pounding about a million miles a minute. Within 30 seconds, though, they had unwrapped the cord and she let out a very healthy little cry. So no need for the NICU. Thank goodness! We were so relieved. We were also a bit surprised to learn that she weighed 7 lbs 1 oz, meaning that I had nearly 13 lbs of baby inside of me. But all the discomfort was immediately forgotten when I got to hold my beautiful children for the first time. 

My poor parents. They hadn't heard anything from the time I called them until Forrest went walking proudly into the nursery with his two beautiful little babies. It had been over an hour, and my mom was beside herself with worry that something had gone wrong. They were so relieved when I called them to tell them that I was ok and that I'd been able to deliver them both vaginally. So was I! (I was - and still am - terrified at the thought of a C-section.) Honestly, I think the delivery was the easiest part of my entire pregnancy. It went so smoothly (largely due to my wonderful doctor and the amazing staff at PIH!) and for that I am extremely grateful!