Outnumbered

I grew up in a family of 7. It was my mom, my dad, and 5 super awesome daughters. My poor dad - he is a very patient man. He handled it pretty well. He does blame us (the girls) for every single gray hair and every last inch of balding on his head, and I think he's probably right in doing that. We didn't exactly give him an easy time. I think I remember one of my sisters getting caught using my mom's razor to shave my dad's head while he was napping in the bathtub. I personally recall drawing pictures all over any part of exposed skin with my mom's lipstick while he napped on the couch (maybe he should have learned not to ever nap while we were around). My mom even has some blackmail pictures of him wearing one of her dresses, some heels, makeup and jewelry. He would occasionally let us paint his toenails and put clips in his hair. He was a good sport. And he was always our biggest supporter. Whatever we were doing - whether it was a sporting event, a play, cheerleading or a spelling bee - he made an effort to be there. In short, my dad is a rockstar.

When I was little, we bought a boat. Most of us called it the banana boat because it was as yellow as a perfectly ripe banana, but my dad officially named it "Outnumbered." It was quite fitting. The guy was surrounded by 6 females constantly. Even when we all started having kids of our own, it was years before a boy finally made an appearance.

I think I'm starting to have some sympathy pains for my dad's experiences. Not being outnumbered in terms of gender, but simply being outnumbered by my children. When it was just me and Charlie and Caroline at home, it was manageable. Crazy, yes, but doable. And then when Forrest was home from work we could move to a man-on-man defense. It worked well for us. Enter Juliet. Now life is a whole different story!

Life is now a whole new level of crazy. Still wonderful, of course. But so crazy. Juliet and I have had to learn to breastfeed "on the go." Meaning that I often have to jump up with her in the middle of a feeding to pry Charlie away from Caroline before he rips a chunk of hair out of her head. Or I have to intervene when Caroline is about to slam the door on Charlie's little fingers. Or when one of them has climbed onto the kitchen counter and is headed straight for something dangerous.

As an added bonus, I now have 3 children in 3 different sizes of diapers. Not at all confusing! My plan is to potty train ASAP, though I don't know how in the world I can give the twins enough attention to successfully potty train while I'm feeding a baby around the clock. Wish me luck with that one!

Even when Forrest is home to help, leaving the house takes us about 5,692 times longer than it used to. And once we do finally get out the door, inevitably someone is hungry, or a diaper needs changed, or I forgot to stock the diaper bag with diapers, wipes, or an extra change of clothes. Or I forgot to brush my teeth. Gross, I know, but when you are so focused on getting 3 little bodies ready to leave, it's easy to forget the basic things like that!

In all honesty though, having Juliet at home has still been 100 times easier than the first couple of months with the twins. Having two newborns was just so demanding! With only one baby to wake up with in the night, I feel so well rested. Seriously. So much easier with one, even though I am woefully outnumbered.

Juliet

Last Tuesday, I was 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Once again I felt like a whale, but in comparing pictures of me then vs. when I was 38 weeks with the twins, I literally think I was about half the size this time around. That morning I woke up, disappointed that I was still pregnant. Like so many of the nights before, I'd woken up in the middle of the night with a few strong and steady contractions, only to fall back asleep and wake up contraction-free. I had an appointment with my midwife that day, where the plan was to sweep my membranes and hopefully bring on labor.

I didn't think I'd be in any hurry. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was ready to have the baby stay inside of me as long as possible. Because every day the baby was inside of me meant that Charlie and Caroline would be one day older. And hopefully one day easier to care for. But then 38 and 39 weeks rolled along and I was beyond ready to not be a whale anymore. I longed to be able to roll around on the floor and rough house with my kids like I used to. And I desperately wanted to meet my baby. To know if the little tenant in my tummy was a boy or a girl, and to know whether he or she would be another white haired beauty or not.

And then there was this military training. A few days before, Forrest and I found out that he had a required military training at Camp Williams on March 6, 7 and 8. He would be gone day and night for those three days. And I was due March 9. I was absolutely terrified that I would go into labor while he was away and out of reach. So Forrest and I talked about it and decided that we would talk to my midwife about breaking my water early in the week, before his training so that there would be no chance of him missing the birth of our sweet little one.

So back to Tuesday. I woke up that morning and got myself and the twins ready for the day. Forrest went off to work. I drove to Salt Lake and dropped the kids off at a friend's house, then went in to my appointment. The midwife came in and swept my membranes (it hurt - I didn't expect it to hurt), then we began discussing my concerns and our options. She called over to the hospital and found an opening for me to go in for an induction the next day, Wednesday, March 4.

I didn't want to be induced. I had been having a fair amount of contractions and was reasonably dilated already, so breaking my water wasn't a big deal, but I still didn't want to have to be induced. I had decided I wanted a natural, un-medicated birth, and I hear inductions usually make that a little more difficult. But given the time constraints and my overwhelming desire to have Forrest present at the birth, I nervously agreed to be scheduled for Wednesday morning.

It's a strange thing, knowing what day your baby will arrive. Knowing that that day was our last as a little family of four. Knowing that my next few hours with the twins before I put them down to sleep would be my last with them as my only children. After I picked them up from my friend's house, I didn't just want to go home. I wanted to make some memories and have fun with my sweet Charlie and Caroline. So we went to a mall and walked around for a while and got a Jamba Juice.

Forrest met us at home where we bundled the kids up in their snowsuits for the first (and probably only) time this winter and went outside to play in the snow. They thought it was wonderful and so did I. Then we went and picked up some dinner, ate at home together, gave the twins a bath and kissed them goodnight. With my pregnancy hormones at their peak I cried and cried, knowing that the next day they wouldn't be my little babies anymore. Of course they will always be my babies, but I hate knowing how fast they will have to grow up now.

You know when you have something important the next day and you know you need to sleep, but you just can't? That was one of those nights. Forrest and I talked, watched TV, added some last minute things to our hospital bags, and went to bed well after midnight. And we were to check-in at the hospital at 9 AM. The next morning my mother-in-law came over to take care of the twins and we drove to the hospital.

Checked in at 9:30. Water broken at noon. Contractions started almost immediately. Then slowed. We walked, and walked, and walked. My mom came. Then my dad came. And my mother-in-law came. Forrest was there, and my nurse was there, and my midwife was there. I spent hours walking the halls with Forrest, pausing every 2-3 minutes to breathe through a contraction. I spent hours on a birthing ball, rolling my hips in a figure 8. All the while I was feeling pretty strong. I was hungry, yes, and tired, yes, but I was able to talk and laugh and join in conversations. And at every check, it was apparent that I was progressing pretty slowly. Finally around 8 PM, we decided to start some Pitocin to help increase the frequency of the contractions. After that, I wasn't much for conversation. I vaguely remember what was going on around me, but all I could do was breath and groan from the pain of the contractions and try to remember the end product.

My midwife was amazing. She was perfect and even though I hated it at the time, she knew exactly what to do to help me get closer to delivering. Sometime around 10 PM, she had me kneel up on the bed. It was completely agonizing and after only a few contractions of that, I remember yelling out that I needed to push. After some changing of position and a little confusion (at least it was confusing to me - the pain made everything so hazy), she checked me and told me I could start pushing. The time was finally here. It was nearly 10:30 PM and I had been in labor for over 10 hours.

And I thought the pain of the contractions was bad. Pushing was completely unbearable. I can't even describe the pain. It was like every fiber of my body was on fire. And I honestly and truly felt like I wanted to die. I remember telling Forrest that and he just smiled and said "no, you don't." And then suddenly, after 6 minutes, the pain was completely gone and there was a perfect little dark haired miracle laying on my chest. Forrest took a look and called out "It's a girl!" and we were all thrilled. We knew right away we would call her Juliet. Juliet Rose. She is the most perfect thing I've ever seen, just like her brother and sister.

Her birth was without a doubt the most difficult thing I've ever done. I have gained a whole new level of respect for anyone who has ever gone through that. I don't know if I will do it again, but it was a beautiful experience and I'm so glad to have gone through it.

Now that she's here, life is a whole new level of crazy. Today I sat in a chair nursing baby J. I was holding her with one arm, using that elbow to shield her head from the toys Charlie kept bring to put in my lap, and holding Caroline on my lap to read her a story with my other arm. The twins love her so much, but they are still learning how to control their impulses. They constantly want to touch her nose and poke her eyes and kiss her head. Caroline is obsessed with sharing things with Juliet - particularly her food. I can't put her anywhere close to the ground when the twinados are awake, but it is a wonderful kind of crazy and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

As for me, I feel fantastic. The recovery from a natural child birth has been a breeze compared to recovering after the twins. I am looking forward to being able to run again, hopefully soon. And life is good. So, so good.

Just How Much?

With a third little munchkin on the way to join our family, I've been thinking a lot lately about our use of diapers, wipes, baby food etc. and how much we use of everything now. And then I think about how much more of it we're going to use very very soon!

When the twins were newborn, we went through approximately 24 diapers a day. Yes, that's right, 24. Per day. Which means that we spent roughly $150/month on diapers alone. Now it's a little better than that. Ok, it's A LOT better! On a typical day we use about 8 diapers. Which means that our diaper spending has gone down to $50/month. Much better! Not for long though, soon will have a cuddly new little poop machine to keep covered up. But newborn diapers are so much easier to change!!

Ok enough with diapers and poop. Let's talk about food. Charlie and Caroline are eaters. Big, big eaters. They always have been. When they were 5 months old, they started eating a ton. Seriously, A TON! I would buy 1 lb bags of frozen veggies, heat them up and puree them, and then they would eat the entire bag in one sitting. We don't have to make special baby food for them anymore, thank goodness. They just eat whatever we eat! And between the two of them, they eat about as much as I do. And remember I'm pregnant, so I eat a pretty good amount! If I make myself a bowl of oatmeal, I make an extra for the twins. I eat a sandwich, they eat a sandwich. I eat a yogurt, they eat three yogurts. Though it is really wonderful to not have to make purees anymore, there has definitely been an increase in our grocery budget lately! But I am super grateful the littles eat so well.

Other things add up as well. Up to this point, they have just shared everything we have. And now they want their own of everything. My logical half says they can just learn to share. And then my irrational half says to just go ahead and get them each their own of everything so they will stop fighting over every toy and sippy cup we own. I'm still on the "learn to share" bandwagon, but it is tempting at times! 

Clothes are another issue. Thankfully up until now, nearly all of their clothes have been given or loaned to us. But now we're having to start buying clothing and let me just say, D.I. is the best thing ever for baby clothes. I got Caroline's winter coat there for $5 a few weeks ago, and it looks brand new! Thank goodness for that, because buying double the clothes is super super expensive! 

I know our lives are about to get WAY crazier. There will be way more poop, a whole new hungry mouth to food, another tiny body to keep clothed (oh, the laundry!), and a third set of nap schedules to work around. But most importantly, there will be one more cuddly baby to hold and to love. More giggles and smiles and a whole new set of firsts. And for that, I absolutely cannot wait! 

We Worked Hard for This!

When Charlie and Caroline were 8 weeks old, they started sleeping 8 hours at night (together - at the same time - without eating). And it was wonderful! Within the following month they moved up to sleeping between 10-12 hours/night, and since then they have been fairly consistent at sleeping 12 hours. Occasionally some teething, sickness, and other sleep disruptions occur, but generally speaking, my children are fantastic sleepers. Hallelujia! 

I often get people who ask about their sleep habits (especially when they were younger) and when I tell them how well they sleep, I get comments like, "You are so lucky to have such good babies!" and "Wow, count yourselves lucky!". And I do. We have been extremely blessed to have such wonderful children and fantastic little sleepers.

But when I respond with the usual, "Yes, we sure are," a part of me also wants to tell them that it's not all luck. Actually I am more of the opinion that it has very little to do with luck at all. I've mentioned before how difficult the first 5-6 weeks with newborn twins were. Partly it was just really hard getting things figured out - learning how to breastfeed two tiny infants, trying to discipher their different cries, and all the other things that come with being a first-time parent. But also I think it was extra hard because we (Forrest and I) made it that way. We were determined to do the hard things then, in the early weeks, so that we could have peace and quiet later on. By that I mean that instead of enjoying the ease and convenience of only feeding one baby when they woke in the night, we chose to wake the other baby too and deal with the commotion of trying to tandem feed in the pitch black at 2 AM, 4 AM, and so on.. I also mean that we sleep trained the littles when they were only 5 weeks old. (Side note: I get that there are arguments for and against cry-it-out. It's not for everyone, and that's fine. I'm only sharing what worked for us.) It took about 3 days of letting them cry in their cribs for what sometimes seemed like hours (in reality it was probably 45 minutes at the very most) until they learned the valuable skill of putting themselves to sleep. And since then, except for the rare circumstances when we are away from anywhere with a crib/pack'n'play, I have never had to rock a baby to sleep. 

Not that I didn't ever want to. The few times that one of the babes has fallen asleep in my arms are times that I treasure and remember with a smile (a sad one, because they are getting so big!). But the minute Forrest went back to work I knew it was impractical for me to rock each of my babies to sleep for naps ALONE. Sleep training was so worth it for us.

And now that the littles are not so little anymore, it is so wonderful (for me and for them) to have the predictability of our routine. I sometimes get easily overwhelmed when it's first thing in the morning and the house is already a mess with breakfast dishes and toys spread everywhere. It's a lifesaver for me to know that regardless of what happens during those couple of hours, at 10 AM the munchkins will be snoozing away and I can deal with the dishes and the toys then. 

Charlie and Caroline thrive on their routine. Caroline a little more-so than Charlie, now-a-days. When I say the word "naptime" she actually runs into the room, grabs her blankie and her panda/dolly/bear (whatever is her favorite at the moment) and tries to climb into her crib. I'm not kidding. Charlie usually makes a break for it in the other direction. Their little personalities crack me up! 

Anyway, my point is, parents have a lot of control over what kind of sleepers their littles ones turn out to be. Not complete control, but a good amount of it. So find something that works for you! Happy sleeping everyone :)

The Schedule

When I was pregnant, I got a lot of advice on how to raise my kids. Some of it really was helpful, some not so much. Most people told me just to trust my instincts and do what felt right, which is what I would tell a new mom. I had decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to read any books on baby sleep etc. However, I had a few friends recommend Baby Wise and I was given the book to read. So I read it. And it made a lot of sense.

By nature I'm not the most structured, rule-following person. But I do like to have a plan, even if I don't strictly stick to it. I liked reading the book because I felt like it gave me a plan - something to shoot for. It wasn't always perfect, and still isn't, but by now I feel like we have a good routine down.

When the twins were newborn, I did not stick to a schedule. I was big on the routine - we always did things in the same order. Wake, eat, play, sleep. They didn't eat at the same times every day, but it was always 2-3 hours apart. Around 6 weeks I started being a little more consistent. I still didn't feed them at the same times every day, but we developed a consistent nighttime routine that seemed to help them sleep longer at night. We started doing baths at bed time, then getting them in bed at the same time every night. 

Up until that point, I had fed the babies at the same time even in the night. If one woke up to eat, I woke the other up too. But by 6 weeks, I wanted them to start sleeping longer. I let them sleep as long as they would sleep, and in the night I fed them seperately. For a few weeks, it meant that I woke up twice as often during the night, but it helped them not get into the habit of eating if they didn't need it. Then for the first morning feeding (which still wasn't at the same time everyday), I made sure to wake them up and feed them at the same time. The days when I didn't do that were some hard hard days. Those were the days when I would wake up, feed one baby, then play for about an hour and put them down for a nap. Right then, the other baby would wake, play for about an hour, then go down for a nap. Then if I was lucky, I'd have about 30 minutes of them both sleeping before the first baby would wake up again. And that would go on all day. Sometimes those days were fun because I'd get to spend more time playing individually with my kids. But generally, they were just exhausting. For that reason, it was super important to me to keep them on the same schedule! In my opinion, there's no other way.

Now that they are a little older, we are on a bit more of a schedule. A flexible one, but still a schedule. So here is the way we do things now:

7 AM (give or take a little) - wake, nurse, get dressed and eat breakfast

9-11 AM - nap

11 AM - nurse and lunch

1-3 PM - nap

4 PM - nurse

4-6 PM - usually spent in their swings in the kitchen while I cook, do laundry, make baby food, clean...whatever :) they generally take a 15-30 minute cat nap during this time

6 PM - dinner

7 PM - bath, nurse, in bed by 7:30 

Occasionally Charlie will wake up for a 3 AM feeding (especially when he's teething) but for the most part they sleep about 12 hours/night straight. I do realize that I am extremely blessed and that not all babies do this! But also, we worked really hard in the beginning to get our kids to sleep. We started sleep training when they were 6 weeks old. It was really hard to let them cry it out (reasonably), but so worth it. My theory was that I can't physically rock two babies to sleep at the same time, so I needed to be able to put them down for naps and have them fall asleep on their own. It was hard in the beginning, but it didn't take long for them to get used to it. And now they rarely cry when going down for a nap. Hooray for good sleeping babies!

I loved the flexibility of our routine when they were little. But I do have to say that I LOVE the predictability of our schedule now. It is so much easier to plan my day and know when I can go grocery shopping, go on a walk, or do whatever I need to do. And seriously, twins on the same schedule = best thing ever. Twins on opposite schedules = misery and exhaustion. Wake the sleeping baby. It is so worth it!

The First 5 Weeks

The first 5 weeks of Charlie and Caroline's lives were some of the hardest of mine. They were also some of the most rewarding/exhuasting/joyful/stressful/exciting/terrifying... you name it, I probably felt that emotion. 

In the hospital, I tried tandem feeding but it was just so hard. So the first week that we were home, I was feeding them one at a time. And when it took them sometimes up to an hour to get a full feeding, that meant that more than half of my day was spent feeding babies. Absolutely exhausting! And when they need to eat every 2-3 hours, it often seemed like I would finish feeding one, then the other, just to find that the first was hungry again. Things improved significantly (feeding-wise) after that first week, when I figured out how to properly feed them at the same time. Then we encountered a new problem. 

By this point, they were both on different eating schedules, especially at night. In the daytime they did fine, but oh how I dreaded the nights. Getting them on the same schedule was so important to me (because of how much feeding time it saved), so that meant that when one baby woke up to eat, night or day, I woke the other baby to eat too.

I remember delaying going to bed as long as possible because I didn't want to face another night. It seemed like staying awake and not even trying to sleep was just easier. I remember laying in bed trying to sleep after finishing up a feeding, running on 45 minutes of sleep and being so tired that I couldn't allow myself to relax enough to sleep. I remember being so excited when I'd look at the clock and see 3 or 4 AM because it meant that it was almost daytime, and the relief I felt at making it through another night. I remember watcing Wreck it Ralph, DuckTales and Tail Spin all night long, and listening to Forrest play Monster Run on the iPad. We found that it was easier just to stay awake all night and try and nap during the day.

I have been extrememly blessed to have a wonderful husband who was so helpful duing those times. We were so fortunate that his work allowed him 6 weeks off after the birth so I didn't have to endure the difficult times alone. We were also lucky to have my fantastic mom come and spend the first two weeks with us. I am 100% confident I would not have kept my sanity through those times without Forrest and my mom.

In addition to the sleeping/eating difficulties, we were also in the midst of a big move. When Charlie and Caroline were 5 weeks old, we moved from our little 1-bedroom apartment in SoCal to a 2-bed in Salt Lake City. So having newborn twins in our tiny aparment that we were in the midst of pulling apart for the move - ya that was stressful.

Getting settled in our new home in Utah was the start of my sanity returning. We were able to set up their cribs, move them into their own room, and start getting settled. Finally at 6 weeks, the kids started sleeping and so did we. By 8 weeks they were sleeping through the night, Forrest was back at work, and we started adjusting to our new normal. 

Thinking back on those first 5 weeks, it seriously makes me terrified to think of having more children. But as hard as they were, it was all worth it! I am so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends, and such beautiful children. Despite the difficulty of it, we survived! Hooray :)