Outnumbered

I grew up in a family of 7. It was my mom, my dad, and 5 super awesome daughters. My poor dad - he is a very patient man. He handled it pretty well. He does blame us (the girls) for every single gray hair and every last inch of balding on his head, and I think he's probably right in doing that. We didn't exactly give him an easy time. I think I remember one of my sisters getting caught using my mom's razor to shave my dad's head while he was napping in the bathtub. I personally recall drawing pictures all over any part of exposed skin with my mom's lipstick while he napped on the couch (maybe he should have learned not to ever nap while we were around). My mom even has some blackmail pictures of him wearing one of her dresses, some heels, makeup and jewelry. He would occasionally let us paint his toenails and put clips in his hair. He was a good sport. And he was always our biggest supporter. Whatever we were doing - whether it was a sporting event, a play, cheerleading or a spelling bee - he made an effort to be there. In short, my dad is a rockstar.

When I was little, we bought a boat. Most of us called it the banana boat because it was as yellow as a perfectly ripe banana, but my dad officially named it "Outnumbered." It was quite fitting. The guy was surrounded by 6 females constantly. Even when we all started having kids of our own, it was years before a boy finally made an appearance.

I think I'm starting to have some sympathy pains for my dad's experiences. Not being outnumbered in terms of gender, but simply being outnumbered by my children. When it was just me and Charlie and Caroline at home, it was manageable. Crazy, yes, but doable. And then when Forrest was home from work we could move to a man-on-man defense. It worked well for us. Enter Juliet. Now life is a whole different story!

Life is now a whole new level of crazy. Still wonderful, of course. But so crazy. Juliet and I have had to learn to breastfeed "on the go." Meaning that I often have to jump up with her in the middle of a feeding to pry Charlie away from Caroline before he rips a chunk of hair out of her head. Or I have to intervene when Caroline is about to slam the door on Charlie's little fingers. Or when one of them has climbed onto the kitchen counter and is headed straight for something dangerous.

As an added bonus, I now have 3 children in 3 different sizes of diapers. Not at all confusing! My plan is to potty train ASAP, though I don't know how in the world I can give the twins enough attention to successfully potty train while I'm feeding a baby around the clock. Wish me luck with that one!

Even when Forrest is home to help, leaving the house takes us about 5,692 times longer than it used to. And once we do finally get out the door, inevitably someone is hungry, or a diaper needs changed, or I forgot to stock the diaper bag with diapers, wipes, or an extra change of clothes. Or I forgot to brush my teeth. Gross, I know, but when you are so focused on getting 3 little bodies ready to leave, it's easy to forget the basic things like that!

In all honesty though, having Juliet at home has still been 100 times easier than the first couple of months with the twins. Having two newborns was just so demanding! With only one baby to wake up with in the night, I feel so well rested. Seriously. So much easier with one, even though I am woefully outnumbered.

The First 5 Weeks

The first 5 weeks of Charlie and Caroline's lives were some of the hardest of mine. They were also some of the most rewarding/exhuasting/joyful/stressful/exciting/terrifying... you name it, I probably felt that emotion. 

In the hospital, I tried tandem feeding but it was just so hard. So the first week that we were home, I was feeding them one at a time. And when it took them sometimes up to an hour to get a full feeding, that meant that more than half of my day was spent feeding babies. Absolutely exhausting! And when they need to eat every 2-3 hours, it often seemed like I would finish feeding one, then the other, just to find that the first was hungry again. Things improved significantly (feeding-wise) after that first week, when I figured out how to properly feed them at the same time. Then we encountered a new problem. 

By this point, they were both on different eating schedules, especially at night. In the daytime they did fine, but oh how I dreaded the nights. Getting them on the same schedule was so important to me (because of how much feeding time it saved), so that meant that when one baby woke up to eat, night or day, I woke the other baby to eat too.

I remember delaying going to bed as long as possible because I didn't want to face another night. It seemed like staying awake and not even trying to sleep was just easier. I remember laying in bed trying to sleep after finishing up a feeding, running on 45 minutes of sleep and being so tired that I couldn't allow myself to relax enough to sleep. I remember being so excited when I'd look at the clock and see 3 or 4 AM because it meant that it was almost daytime, and the relief I felt at making it through another night. I remember watcing Wreck it Ralph, DuckTales and Tail Spin all night long, and listening to Forrest play Monster Run on the iPad. We found that it was easier just to stay awake all night and try and nap during the day.

I have been extrememly blessed to have a wonderful husband who was so helpful duing those times. We were so fortunate that his work allowed him 6 weeks off after the birth so I didn't have to endure the difficult times alone. We were also lucky to have my fantastic mom come and spend the first two weeks with us. I am 100% confident I would not have kept my sanity through those times without Forrest and my mom.

In addition to the sleeping/eating difficulties, we were also in the midst of a big move. When Charlie and Caroline were 5 weeks old, we moved from our little 1-bedroom apartment in SoCal to a 2-bed in Salt Lake City. So having newborn twins in our tiny aparment that we were in the midst of pulling apart for the move - ya that was stressful.

Getting settled in our new home in Utah was the start of my sanity returning. We were able to set up their cribs, move them into their own room, and start getting settled. Finally at 6 weeks, the kids started sleeping and so did we. By 8 weeks they were sleeping through the night, Forrest was back at work, and we started adjusting to our new normal. 

Thinking back on those first 5 weeks, it seriously makes me terrified to think of having more children. But as hard as they were, it was all worth it! I am so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends, and such beautiful children. Despite the difficulty of it, we survived! Hooray :)

The Twin Necessities

I've had a few people ask me about the must-have items for twins. Since mine are still only 6 months old, I'm sure there are lots of things I don't know that I need yet (like leashes! Seriously though..) but I thought I'd share my list of things that I've found helpful with twin babies.

Two bassinets/cribs-I know a lot of people put their twins in the same crib, which is great, but I could only do that for the first few weeks. My kids just don't hold still and they wiggle like crazy in their sleep, so two cribs for us was a must. I had them in bassinets for the first 5 weeks and I had two of those as well. 

Bouncer and swing-personally, I did not find it necessary to have two swings and two bouncers. We didn't have the space in our small 1-bedroom apartment for two of each. But I found that having one bouncer and one swing worked out great. I always said if it ended up that oth of them liked the swing, then we'd go buy a second swing later. You don't need to have two of everything.

Two car seats-this one is pretty obvious. Of course you're going to need two car seats. I highly recommend going with infant carriers that you can remove from the car because it's borderline impossible to carry two babies at the same time to and from the car.

Spacious vehicle-you might think you can fit two rear-facing car seats in the back of your little sedan. And maybe you can, but good luck fitting anyone taller than 5' 7" into the front seat. And don't even think about trying to fit a double stroller in the trunk! We opted for a mini van (I know. Get the laughter out now) and it has been fantastic. The convenience of having automatic sliding doors, plenty of storage space, and seats where I don't have to lift the car seats above my head to get them latched in has far outweighed my embarrassment at driving a mini van.

Baby carrier-whether you prefer an ergo baby, mobe wrap, sling, or baby bjorn, gets baby carrier of some sort. There will be times when you will have two sad babies that just want to be held, and it's far easier to do it with one in a baby carrier and one in your arms than hold them both with only one arm each.

Double stroller-we went with a BOB so that I could easily take the kids both out jogging, and I love it. However, if I could do it again, I would also get a stroller that we could clip the car seats into.

Twin nursing pillow and double electric breast pump-if you plan on breast feeding. I have the MyBrest Friend twin size nursing pillow and I LOVE it. I don't think I would have stick with tandem feeding if I didn't have it. And a good double electric breast pump will help a lot with your supply. For the first month I pumped at least 3 times a day to get my supply up. And another positive, my mom, husband  and friends were able to help feed the kids during those difficult early weeks using the milk I had pumped. 

Podee bottles-seriously these things are amazing. Even if you plan to breast feed exclusively, I would suggest having a couple of these bottles on hand. Bottle feeding two babies at once is really tricky business. These bottles allow the baby to hold the nipple in their mouth themselves (like a pacifier) without having to grip and hold up the bottle. The milk come up from the bottle to their nipple in their mouth through a small tube as they suck. Amazing!

Feeding tracking system-especially in the early weeks when the babies are on different eating schedules, it is so helpful to have some way of recording and tracking when they eat. We used the BabyConnect app on our iPad. It allowed us to track eating, wet/dirty diapers, sleep patterns etc. for both babies. 

Diaper bag with backpack type straps-my husband gave me a PPB diaper bag for Christmas and it has been amazing. Before that, I used a bag that just had a single shoulder strap but when you're alone and trying to carry a diaper bag in addition to two kids in car seats, having a bag that can fit on like a backpack is the best thing ever. Also, the straps on my bag have hooks that I use to hang grocery bags on when coming back from the store. I look like a pack mule but I love not having to take multiple trips!

Two high chairs and lots of bibs-when you are feeding two kids at the same time, it just gets messy. We go through bibs like they're going out of style. And having two high chairs is a must.

Changing pad?-we have one and we used it a lot when the babies were newborn, especially when my husband was home to help me. But when I'm alone, I find it's easier to lay a blanket down on the floor, put the babes on it and change their bums down there. So I would says changing pad ca be nice, but not a necessity.

Diaper Genie-to me, this is a necessity. We live in an apartment so it's not practical to run each smelly diaper outside immediately or even to set it out on the porch. The Genie does a great job of containing the smell while the diapers are stuck inside with us.

Storage-baby clothes take up a lot of space, especially when you have double the normal amount. We bought 4 plastic sliding drawer sets from Target that have 3 drawers each. So each baby has 6 drawers. In the top drawers I put the size they are currently wearing, then in the drawers underneath I have the next size ready to go. As they grow out of each size, I rotate them um through the drawers and put the too-small size in clear, labeled plastic totes in the top of the closet.

Lots and lots of diapers-we toyed with the idea of using cloth diapers to save money, but for two babies we decided the amount of laundry I'd need to do would be ridiculous. So we went with disposables. When they were newborn, we went through about 16 diapers/day. Now we are down to about 10/day. Which means that we spend $60-$80/month on diapers. 

Well there you have it, my must-haves for surviving the first 6 months with twin babies! 

From the Mouths of Babes

I have the 4 most darling nieces in the world. The oldest is 5 and the youngest is 3. Two of them just got a new baby brother, but the other two haven't had a lot of exposure to babies. So when we moved here close to them, it was like a whole new world of nursing, spit up, stretch marks, and babies being babies. They have been such good little helpers and love playing "mommy" themselves. Their curiosity about all things baby has led them to say and do some pretty funny things. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

After peeking under my nursing cover, "Mom! Aunt Holly is feeding Caroline out of her booties!" (Yes, she calls them booties.)

"Aunt Holly what's wrong with your belly?" "What do you mean?" "Well... It's scrambled!"

"Mom why can't you feed Charlie out if your booties? Because Aunt Holly would get mad?"

My sisters have both observed their little ones pulling up their shirts to feed their babies like me. 

While helping her mom babysit the twins, "Aunt Holly. I'm calling you on my microphone. Caroline spit up her peas. Call me back. Officer out."

After peeking under my cover while I was pumping, "What is that thing?" Me: "it helps get milk out of my body to feed the babies in a bottle." "Oh!" Then, to my grandpa, "Gramps do you hear that pumpy thingy? It's getting the milk out of Aunt Holly's booties!"

Every single time I change a dirty diaper, "Ew! Did he go poop?"

While feeding Charlie, "Aunt Holly what are those things?" "Oh Charlie is eating." "Eating? He's EATING YOU?!" 

I sing a night time song to the babes every time I put them down for a nap. My niece has started singing her version of the song to her doll, "it's beddy time, it's beddy time.."

Love those girls. 

A day in the life..

The most common question I get is people asking me how I do it. The short answer is, well I just do! I don't know any different since the twins are my first children. But just because I don't  know any different doesn't mean it's been easy. Seriously, the first five weeks were just a blur of sleepless nights, dirty diapers and endless nursing. Yes I am breast feeding my twins. Both of them. At the same time. Nursing was the part I was most nervous about. I wanted to try it but I wasn't confident that I would be able to successfully feed two babies ever, let alone do it for nearly 6 months. But here we are 5 1/2 months after they were born still nursing away. The trick is getting a good pillow (I use the My BreastFriend Twin nursing pillow) and holding them both in football position. It took a lot of getting used to but in my opinion there is no other way to do it. It saves so much time. So much. 

In the beginning, the babes were on different schedules. And that was hard. My husband, Forrest, and I worked so hard to get them sleeping and eating at the same time. Yes, that meant that we constantly had to wake up sleeping babies so they could eat at the same time. Which also meant that we would go entire nights sleeping less that 2 hours total. I remember just praying for morning to come. Thinking "just wait until the sun is up - I can last until then." Then 4 AM would hit and I'd feel a major sense of accomplishment and relief at having made it through another night. I remember thinking how easy it would be if we only had one. Which I know is not true - having a new baby in the house is hard regardless of how many of them there are. And then when they were 5 weeks old we moved from Southern California to Salt Lake City. We finally had two bedrooms so we immediately moved them into their own room. And then they started sleeping. And we started sleeping. The first night they both slept for 6 hours straight was one of the best nights ever. I thought it was a fluke, but they kept doing it. Then at 8 weeks they started sleeping for 8 hours straight and taking good naps during the day. That was when I started feeling like a normal person again.

Now they are great - mostly. Of course we have our bad days and rough nights, but generally speaking my babies are really happy and content and are excellent sleepers. Thank goodness! They wake up in the morning and play happily in their cribs until I go get them out to eat. (They sleep in different cribs. When they were little I sometimes put them in the same bassinet/crib but they just wiggle way too much now.) I usually pick up Charlie first because he is a little fussier in the mornings. He gets really excited and smiles until I lay him down on the ground to get Caroline. Then he cries. Hard. Caroline smiles and reaches her arms up for me and snuggles with me while I carry her to her brother. I put her on the ground next to him where they play while I'm getting set up to feed them. I clip my nursing pillow around my waist and sit down Indian style on the ground against the wall. Then I pick them up one at a time and lay them down on the pillow to eat. Even if Charlie has been crying hard, he always laughs when I do this because I swing him forward before putting him onto the pillow. It's his favorite. While they eat, their bottom hands meet in the middle in front of my chest. Caroline usually grabs on to my shirt and Charlie puts his hand on top of hers. Sometimes it's the other way around, but either way they are always holding hands. It melts my heart! If they ever take a break from holding hands, it's usually to pull the others' hair or ears or to poke their face. They are so curious about one another! I love to see how much they love each other. After they eat I change diapers and get them dressed, then carry them into the kitchen to eat their breakfast. When they were smaller I could easily I pick them up and carry them both, but now I do one at a time into their high chairs. I just use one bowl and one spoon and sit in front of their high chairs and feed them every other bite. (Truthfully, it's usually two bites to Charlie then one bite to Caroline. Unless it's peas, then it's the exact opposite!) They play in their chairs while I eat breakfast, then we play in the living room until nap time.

The day goes on about like that until bedtime. Forrest is an accountant, so he works a lot this time of year and doesn't usually get home until after the kids are in bed. So I do bath time and bedtime alone. It was hard at first, but it's getting easier. I bathe them at the same time, I just put their heads next to each other in the middle so they lay with their legs in the opposite direction. That way they don't kick and splash each other as much. After bath they eat, we read a story and sing a song and then are in bed.

It's really not that hard, taking care of them both. Most days I love it 100%. Of course there are hard days, like I said, but I try to forget about those :). The hardest part is that sometimes they just have to cry. If they are both sad, I can only deal with one at a time so the other just cries. Of course I don't like it, but there's not really another option. The second hardest part is carrying them to and from the car. They are getting really big and heavy and I'm building a lot of muscle carrying two car seats at once! Not easy, but it's still doable. 

Well there you go, that's how I do it! A little disclaimer: I have an amazing husband who is so helpful and who is so good with our kids. I couldn't do it without him. I also have wonderful sisters, parents and in-laws who live nearby and who are so extremely helpful. Also could not do it without them! And  I have the most darling children in the world that make it all worth it :)